Better be passive-aggressive than dead

Anatoli Babenia
3 min readDec 24, 2022

I say this and immediately feel I am wrong. I feel like people would rather see those passive-aggressives dead, gone for good. Why? Why can’t they just ignore those “unfortunate losers” and go on with their lives? Looks like two things to me—fear and reminder of slavery.

Passive-aggressive fear

Things people do and say, are not always reflecting their rational mind. Maybe even most of the time the rational mind becomes an encoder of feelings, dissatisfaction, suppressed will and straight physical body discomfort that is born on much deeper brain levels. Rational mind takes a thought and encoders it with all the context. Dark, gloomy and cynical. An attempt to bring back self-esteem to a cave of utter failure by adding more weight to it than to the world outside. That’s not rational. That’s something that only side observer can notice. “Damn, man, you’re writing that depressive bullshit again?! Come on..”. That’s a switch. An external hand pulling one out of this misery. Misery — is a deeper feeling, and this is what is encoded as unseen context in each and every word of passive-agressive rational mind. The message that only those who know that misery, can read. It brings them down. They want this to go away, as much as the person who wrote it. Fear of misery is the stuff you can’t ignore. And because people are powerless to do anything, they want that person, the one with darker thoughts, to go away. Even more if the person needs help. Desperate. Because that reminds them of their own disability to help that person. Reminds them that they could be that person, if they won’t obey their own domestication.

Reminder of slavery

If you’ve got a job, you’ve got money. I don’t. If you’ve got money, you’ve got relationships. None of that stuff here. Want me to remind you how useless your job is? Nope. How destructive your habits are for the environment? Nope. How about the fear of death then? Probably don’t want to hear about that either. The stuff you don’t want to hear about, is the stuff I can not stop thinking about. The context of my mind right now is dark and heavy, and the encoder of the words does it job automatically. Why people write? Why they want to put their thoughts out? To get rid of them. Put them somewhere aside, free the space for something else. Get the encoder through emotions and be done with them. Words are words. Drawn symbols. Why they trigger you to mark me as passive-aggressive? What is there inside that makes you uncomfortable looking at these symbols? Why you want the passive-aggressive mind that wrote these symbols to go away? You don’t want to see the mind that has the imaginary freedom of discussing things you would never dare to touch. The mind that can question your own existence, why you censor themselves, why you can’t express their feelings of frustration, of hatred, can’t criticize and be skeptic about the direction your environment is going. Why you can’t object the daily slavery you are a subject to. The slavery of wearing a smile so that nobody sees the dead inside. This is why peole can’t ignore passive-agressive. The reminder that brings them down.

Be happy or be dead

There is no other choice in the world of busyness. If I can’t enjoy life, if nobody need me a as worker, why don’t I just kill myself then? Because my body wants to live. It is not “my life” — my body is life. Or putting it the other way — the ones who gone this route are not passive after all. Passive-aggressive is a cry for help, when the mind don’t find reasons to be alive, but the body is. The mind that wants to fix the world to adapt to it, and powerless to do this. Deadlocked.